Productive

I've actually been sorta productive today. I finished packing up and organizing my stuff that was in my Aunt's storage basement and I packed up two boxes of my stuff at my house. Also, I started packing up my suitcases. The hardest part is packing what I think I'll need for the next month or so into two suitcases. I know that I'll need to pack semi-nice clothes for interviews I'll have. Speaking of, I have a few lined up already for when I get to LA. So with that in addition to the freelance I'll be working on, I should be in bank. The scariest part is finding a place to live. Ideally and the most financially responsible thing to do is find a roommate to split the cost of an apartment. However, what makes me feel uneasy about the situation is that I'm not sure how permanent my future-roommate will be in the LA-area. I guess I'll need to look for someone with a solid-job and someone who is planning on stickin' around for awhile. But it's so hard to depend on other people. I've been apartment hunting online (which I know is a lot harder than doing it in person) and there are a few places that are affordable for my budget, but at the same time, like I said, it'll just be cheaper to split the cost.

Aside from that, since I've been home from Kirksville, I've been sorting through the past 24 years worth of things. I sure have a lot of shit. Also, it surprises me how easy it is for me to part with certain things. Like pictures of people that used to be important to me and things like that. There were a few times where I got so nostalgic that I had to stop and do something else. The goal is to finish all this packing stuff by Thursday. This upcoming weekend is my last weekend in the midwest. If all goes well, I'll get to see Mallory, Ashley, Joyce AND Kenny. It'll be a really great send-off. Only two of my best friends won't be in attendance, Amber & Blake. But they're off in their own big cities doing great things. I can't wait to join their ranks. Speaking of them, I've been thinking about how proud I am to have the friends that I have. They're all doing such great things, going to med and law schools, getting PhDs, passing CPA exams, fantastic undergrad artists, grabbing those design jobs, moving to big cities, living these great and exciting lives. I am so stoked for all of them! & hey, even myself. I'm a believer that you (without even doing it on purpose) surround yourself with people who are on the same level as you--goal and aspiration-wise. I don't mean that I surround myself with great graphic designers (though I do find myself in that), I mean that no matter what field, successful people find themselves amidst other successful people. And it's a really great feeling to recognize that.

Though I'm super stoked about starting this new chapter in my life, I'm devastated that I will be so far away from my family, especially my sisters & parents. My cousin Francis has been very sad as of late, and it doesn't help that his birthday is so near (Sept 21). I'm trying as hard as I can to spend time with my sisters but they are just so busy with Jessamine graduating from nursing school in the spring, Janessa getting an associate's degree and also graduating in the spring (before going on to nursing school and getting her BSN) and Jill graduating from high school. It's hard to think that I might not be with them come the holidays, but this is growing up and this is moving on. There are some things I don't want to move on from, though. Especially coming from a really, really great summer with Kenny, it'll be very hard to revert back to just talking on the phone and computer. But that's just how things have to be for now. And I know that the effort is mutual to keep it going so I need to have faith that everything will work out eventually.

Well, I'm going to get ready for bed and read a bit.

Until next time,

- Jessica.