What Men Want

So I talk to tons of different people every day from all walks of life. Yesterday, I spoke with some dude who writes self-help books. At first I thought he wrote books on how to change a tire or something but it turns out he writes a series of books on how to date/have a relationship/get into a relationship/get what you want (for men). I spoke with him for almost an hour and though entertaining, it just kinda confused me.

He informed me that women want about 5000 things from men but men only need 5 things. FIVE THINGS! That's it! And even if it's just 5, women still can't get it right. He told me I had to pay pretty good money to learn all 5, but throughout the convo, I got him to reveal a few things and I jotted them down and here they are:

GUM

Men apparently hate gum chewers because they think the chomping will translate to the bedroom.

GIRLY

Men prefer girls who wear skirts and dress better. Women who wear skirts and dresses will get more play than women who wear pants. Why would men want to date women who wear pants?

LATINAS

Out of all the races, latin women get more play because they are raised to treat a man really, really well. They live their life wanting to please men. Statistically, they also complain less.

SUPPORT

Men just want a cool girlfriend who supports their ideas.

I only agree with one thing he told me and that is the 'support' part. I don't take any of his advice seriously but it sounds like men just really want to be worshiped and have something pretty and quiet to stare at.

- J.