Weight a minute...

I’ve always struggled with my weight. As a young child, I was always “big boned” and was told I’d grow into my body (wtf is that supposed to mean?). The first diet I ever put myself on was in 5th grade. It was summertime and I was watching this *NSYNC special on The Disney Channel and I told myself: “JC Chasez would never go for a fat girl.” Yes, JC was my first motivation. I lost a few el bees (lbs) and was pretty decent looking my high school freshman year. The summer before going into high school, my family and I took a vacation to the Philippines. Here I was, just finished with an intense band camp and thought I looked pretty good. But when I got to the Philippines, surrounded by super skinny filipino cousins and those who lack tact, I was told over and over and OVER again that I was fat. “Why do you look like that?” “What are they feeding you in America?” I was feeling down. Really down. It was pretty much a downward spiral until I graduated HS.

That was me at senior prom (I was going for a “Cinderella theme” with my gloves). Anyway. College started and I knew there was a rec center but I was too scared to go. I spent a lot of time eating Taco Bell, playing Halo and eating A LOT of Sodexho (so so bad for you). I turned 21 and began pounding these back:

lol, what a silly pic.

I’m not saying I had a horrible high school or college experience, but I was fat. And it’s hard being fat. I had friends who loved me regardless of how I look, but at the end of the day, I knew I was leading an unhealthy lifestyle. And though I smiled a lot and had a grand-ole time, deep down I knew I was hurting my self-esteem and more importantly, my health.

The summer I had that internship in Los Angeles, I joined a gym and I worked my ass off. Like, I never missed a work-out, I did water aerobics...I wouldn’t say I ate healthy, I just didn’t eat that much. But then school started again..and though I kept a pretty good work-out regime, I felt like I swiped my card at the Dukum and Woody’s more than I did at the rec center. I graduated and spent the summer working at JBA where I had Sodexho again (ugh) and no time to work out. I was also struggling to remain social in my remaining days in Missouri. The weight I lost the summer I was away was all back and I felt bad. I moved to LA and it was kinda touch-and-go...I worked out but then...I got lazy. I had no excuse. I just got lazy. It was easier to buy a cheeseburger than to run on the treadmill. Easier to order in than to grocery shop.

Why am I revealing all of this? Because this is my official declaration to become healthier and to get my butt into gear! I’ve set goals, I’m counting calories and I am working out like it’s my job. I’m not saying I’ll be joining a triathlon or anything like that... BUT. I am going to promise myself that I am IN IT TO WIN IT. I’ve been at it for about 2 weeks and I can’t wait to see progress.

Thanks for listening/reading.

- J.